It's me shimei.

This is my first english blog post after using english for so long.

That's true I'm currently soaking in a english speaking society that even make me not use to chinese anymore.

But still I won't ditch my mother language no matter what.

Without you, there is no shimei who is writing this post now.

Well, maybe it is not a big deal.

But guess what?

I got rose for the first time.

What does it means that I am getting rose for the first time in 20 years?

Is there a meaning?

Is it a dessert before life leading to lost and hell?

Well, I am not sure about it.

But, I am willing to take the challenge.

So i have been using whisper for a long time.

I met Nick through there, the one i once dedicate myself to but it is no more right now.

And then I meet a lot of guys, including this guy from Goa call Sxxu.

I have been his crush since our first chat.

I never know he is serious or maybe he is not.

My trust issue is really an issue.

I never believe any words from people.

I questioned I don't believe that.

So we went out for the first time.

He got me rose and an envelope.

I was so surprised.

But I did not want to receive it.

I don't want to take anything for granted.

I don't want to take stuff from someone without giving out anything.

I refused for the first few times.

In the end, he kinda threatened me.

He was like ' if you don't take it I'll leave it here no matter what'

Of course I have to take it.

What if he really did leave the flower and the envelope over there?

And this is how I got this.

For the first time in my life, 

I have receive flowers

I receive chocholates that was put inside an envelope surrounding with warm messages.

Maybe you guys were like why is this girl making a big deal about it?

It was just a freaking flower and chocolate.

But this was the first time.

The first time of my life.

Am I happy?

Well obviously I am.

It's like more to astonished to happy.

I guess my life came a little bit late.

But still thank god for letting me experience it.

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